Sweet girl,
Eight weeks from now you will be joining us in the world. In a way, I want to apologize. The world you are going to be brought into is at its worst. It doesn’t deserve you. At the same time, having you grace it with your presence could be one of the steps it needs to take in order to put it back on a greater trajectory.
Anyways, I am your daddy. Nice to meet you!
Your mother chose the name Kenway for you. It is the surname of a family of great characters in Assassin’s Creed, video games she and I both love. Your middle name, Dawn, I came up with. No significant reason or anything. I just thought it flowed well. Naturally, your mom fell in love with it immediately.
All my life I dreamed of being a dad to a baby girl. You are seriously a dream come true. When we went in to get your first ultrasound done and I saw the perfectly round head on the screen I knew you were going to be a girl. We read up on old wives tales and pregnancy forums and were half-convinced when we went in to learn your gender that you were going to be a boy. You did not put up any struggle and the ultrasound tech was able to tell us right away that we were having a little Kenway. The entire family was thrilled.
I have made countless mistakes in my life, sweetheart. Everybody else would tell you that they also made so many mistakes, but I am not being humble. I have been through more jobs than most families combined go through in a lifetime. I have dropped in and out of school for years. Despite pretending to be a writer since I was really young I have precious little writing to show for it. I struggle with demons that not even your mother, who I confide everything with, knows about. I consider myself to be a failure. Whether its true or not in the grand scheme of things, I don’t know. But I promise you, sweet thing, that I will not fail with you. I am not a violent person. I don’t even like to yell. To raise my voice even a little bit makes me feel very uncomfortable. I promise to be your friend, your partner, your shoulder to lean on, your teacher, your protector, and the one you can confide anything to. I will always be there for you no matter what. I won’t smother you, but I will always be around for you if and when you need me.
I will mess up, Kenway. I will upset you, fail you, let you down. I am only human. But as long as you do not give up on me there is no chance in hell I will ever give up on you. And I will do whatever I can to make it up to you when those moments come.
I have no idea what the future has in store for any of us. Quite frankly, I don’t care. I am not going to be one of those parents who push you towards something we want you to be. My parents were not that way with me, so I am definitely not going to be that way with you. My only expectation is that you try your hardest. Even if you come in last place, if you try your best then you will be the winner in my book. I know this is hypocritical coming from a man who more often than not has not given his all in what he sets out to do, but something tells me that you are going to be pushing me much more than I will be pushing you.
We are going to be a great family, Kenway Dawn. You are already your mom and I’s greatest joy. We will always be there for you, no matter what.
Love,
Daddy
