On Parental Responsibility

It’s no secret that being a parent is hard work. My daughter has only been in the world for a week as of today and I already feel that I’ve worked harder than I ever have before. This is coming from a guy who served in the Marine Corps, worked at Walt Disney World Resort, managed multiple locations at once, and various fast-paced industrial jobs over the years. It is definitely not something for the soft or weak-willed. It takes someone with a deep sense of love and responsibility, or someone with the mental acumen to have a light switch flipped on in their heads once a baby comes into their life.

The biggest tragedy in the world is that too many parents, old and new, these days are too irresponsible and immature in every way that a parent should not be, and it’s them raising the next generation of children. And this newer generation do not know the morals and values that many of us have grown up with over the years, much less even the slightest hint of responsibility.

I won’t mention any names or anything, but I am very acquainted with someone like this. This particular individual does not work, lives in their girlfriend’s parents’ house, does not try to find work, cannot even be trusted to do a single chore around the house, mooches off of their generosity and their girlfriend’s small paychecks, and even made their mom buy an engagement ring so that the girlfriend could be proposed to. They use an alleged disability as an excuse to not work, look for work, do chores, or anything else around the house that mature, responsible adults do. The only time they make an effort is if it somehow benefits them, such as bringing in giant armfuls of groceries and carrying a solid metal vacuum cleaner up two flights of stairs in order to vacuum their bedroom (yet taking out the trash and putting away a couple of plates and bowls is too much work).

To make matters worse, not only is this person a moocher but also vindictive, sexist, manipulative, and controlling. They often try to pick out clothes for the girlfriend/fiancé that they want them to wear, has convinced her that she cannot drive unless she receives two years of trauma therapy to recover from an accident that happened years and years ago (although the other family members involved in the crash had it worse and all have at least tried to make an effort), and believes that they are entitled to whatever they want in the house for every reason under the sun. And if they don’t get it, they hold a grudge months and months after the fact. The theory/excuse is that they grew up with a mother who sucked and did not teach them the ways of the world and because of that had to develop their own warped sense of right and wrong, but still. Nothing can excuse or condone that kind of disgusting attitude and demeanor.

The reason I’m talking about this now is that they have been talking to me recently on multiple occasions about how they want kids and are planning to start a family together. The person who is in dire need of having their whole twenty-plus years repeated so that they can learn the right things wants to be the one to bring one or two babies into the world and be the one responsible for guiding them into the next generation. The blind leading the blind. The bum raising the bums. God forbid the children are of the opposite sex as them, because then their deep-rooted sexism will make for a godawful experience.

Here’s what I’ve been asking myself: if you can’t wipe down a tabletop or take out the trash, how the hell are you going to change a baby’s diaper or carry one around all the time? If you claim you can’t sit down for long periods of time or drive for long periods, how can you drive a kid to and from doctors appointments or rock them to sleep, especially if you’ve convinced your significant other that they can’t drive? Even better yet, if the other one has a small income and you refuse to work, how can you provide for the family like you are supposed to?

If you’re a parent, you need to step it the fuck up. You need to understand that you are now second banana to your child. They must come first each and every time, no excuses. You need to do whatever it is that needs to be done to make sure that they are taken care of. If you can’t, you either need to sign over custody to someone else or not be a parents.

AND NO, ABORTION IS NOT A VIABLE OPTION!

Every action has consequences. We are responsible for our own actions and this must live with the fallout of said actions. It’s called being an adult. Man up or move the hell over. Children deserve nothing else but the very best from all of us.

Nightly Mister Rogers

Years ago I started watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood episodes on YouTube. I was reintroduced to Fred Rogers, Mr. McFeely, Officer Clemmons, and the gang.

I also got to experience a lot of the great songs that got me through childhood again and again.

I don’t think I played them her very first night on Earth, but every night since I have made it a little ritual to play Kenway Officer Francois Clemmons’ rendition of “There Are Many Ways To Say I Love You” and Mister Rogers singing “It’s Such A Good Feeling.” Both celebrate life and love and everything that we’ve been trying to expose her to since 6:52am last Wednesday morning.

She might not be old enough to understand the words or appreciate the music, but they usually help her fall asleep!

If you have little ones you should look the songs up on YouTube. They’re both touching as hell and sung BEAUTIFULLY.

Children deserve nothing but the best.

Political Opinion: Babies/Fetuses

I managed to prevent myself from getting into a political argument on Facebook the other day. An old acquaintance of mine who is of the liberal persuasion posted a long post supporting pro-choice and berating people who “whine” that abortion is murder and that fetuses are not human beings.

She could not be more wrong if she tried. Fetuses ARE living creatures and more than that, they ARE human beings. After my daughter was born I am definitely more pro-life than I ever have been before. You see, my fiancé Alexis and I are extremely close. We don’t have much of a social life so we spend the vast majority of our free time together. I experienced every single part of her pregnancy with her and went to every doctor’s appointment. I got to see our baby grow through ultrasounds and in the tummy. Along the way, I really got to know her personality as she was developing. Towards the end, like clockwork at 8:30ish pm Kenway would get the hiccups. And she would get IRRITATED and squirm and jerk around in the womb if they last several minutes or so.

Now that she is born, she is the same way. The poor thing HATES getting the hicamabumps.

Fetuses are growing human beings who have personalities, limbs, faces, and their own DNA. They may not be sharing the outside world with us yet but there is not a single thing about them that sets them apart from any of us. Sometimes there are people born underdeveloped or handicapped in certain ways. We do not consider them less of people, so we? Why do we want to throw away precious life without any sort of emotion whatsoever?

I get that there are some rare circumstances where medically the mother will die without an abortion. For the sake of life, if there is no other choice then that is ok. But to abort because someone didn’t mean to get pregnant or because they feel they have a “right” are just two piss-poor examples of the lack of responsibility and maturity today’s generations are guilty of. But that is a different topic for a different day.

Babies are people. Fetuses are people, they’re just growing still. There is no good excuse, save the emergency rare situation detailed above, that gives anybody a right to murder them. There are countless people in the world who will do your job and raise the child if you won’t.

Is it asking that much for life?

First Doctor’s Appointment

Alexis, her mom, and I got to take the baby to her first visit with the pediatrician today! We were sitting in the waiting room and a couple chairs over from us was a mom with a six-month old boy who was so happy for us. We talked for several minutes until he had to go get his shots. One thing that has tickled me since day one is how POPULAR Kenway is. She is such a beautiful baby and people gravitate to her. The receptionists, the nurse, and the doctor were all in love with her.

She’s gotten a teence bigger and an inch longer since she was born. The rest of the umbilical cord should be gone in the next couple of days. Other than all that, everything looks good and healthy!

Alexis and I could not be prouder.